No, Turning back now
by LizbethMarie
Summary: Set after Bella's dark period. Angst Drama. Twists turns. Eventually Jas/B. Some JB/B
1. Chapter 1

No, Turning Back Now  
by: Lizbeth Marie

Set after the Dark Place in New Moon. Angst and Drama. Please no Flames for the decisions made.

Stephenie Meyer Owns All... *sighs*

Chapter 1: Loss

It was the first sunny day in months. It was like I was finally coming alive again. All thanks to my personal sun. Jacob.

I sat patiently at First Beach waiting for him. He would be there any moment. I sat there a soft smile on my lips. Then slowly Edward's face drifted to the surface. Internally I began to argue with myself.

No, I will not think about you now. You wanted me to move on. So I am.

Anger bubbled below the surface and I made a conscious decision to give myself to Jacob. I would have to plan it right. Charlie never minded when I would stay with Jacob over night.

"Hey Bells."

The sound of his voice made me smile as I turned to face him. His short hair was wet and there was water gleaming on his bare chest.

"Jake." I grinned shyly.

"What are our plans for today?" He asked.

I was happy that I had him. He was my best friend. He pulled me out of the hole and depression I had been in. He was there for me when no one else was. I felt him sit beside me and on instinct I leaned against his warm shoulder.

"We could go swimming?" I offered.

He laughed and looked at me. Think I'm joking... I mused to myself.

I quickly stood up and pulled off the long tattered Tshirt to reveal my black lacy bra. That got his attention. He was glued to me. His eyes filled with a burning desire. I kept eye contact with him as I lowered my jeans to reveal matching black panties.

"Bella." He groaned.

I was testing him, he knew it. But I didn't care. The next instant I squealed with joy and happiness and charged into the ice cold water. I took comfort in the cold. Even now, after all these months.

I turned to see Jake dive in and swim over to me. It began innocently enough the splashing and the giggling. But then he was so close, and I decided I would take the leap of faith and trust again. I would move on. I would love again.

He pulled me to him gently, the water calm around us as I looked up into his penetrating gaze. I slowly and deliberately wrapped my arms around his waist.

He pulled me to him and just held me. It was the first time we had done anything spontaneously. Something just to have fun and be with one another.

I licked my lips nervously and slowly pressed my lips against his bare wet shoulder. His body stiffened and he pushed me back slightly and brought his face to look me in my eyes. He was searching, desperately searching.

I did love him, I suppose apart of me always had. I wasn't in love with him, not the way he wanted me to be. But I could try. For him I would do anything.

I leaned in and gently kissed his lips. He melted to me. His arms pulling me closer cherishing my mouth. Our tongues dueling. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His heat was intoxicating. I grinded against him needing friction.

"What are we doing, Bella?" He asked me breaking the kiss.

Even though I didn't mean it the way he wanted, I said it, "I love you Jake." It came out a hoarse whisper.

His eyes brightened and he kissed me more forcefully. "Oh Bella. I love you too."

"Take me Jake. I want to be yours." I panted.

He ripped the thin garment of me and surveyed my naked form surrounded by water. He lifted me and carried me back to the beach. He lay me down our lips never breaking our passionate kiss.

His mouth moved down my neck, nipping at my collar bone. His tongue swept swiftly over each nipple as he made his way down farther. He got to my heated core and his tongue probed my swollen clit. My head fell back as I gasped. Grasping at his short hair. His mouth clamped shut and sucked gently. Two fingers plunged into me and curled. The heated sensation in my stomach exploded.

"Jake." I screamed out.

My body arching off the ground as I felt like I was on fire. My body spasming as I slowly came down from my high.

I looked up at Jacob with half closed eyes. I felt him slip quickly between my legs. His extremely large member pressed against my opening.

"I love you Bella." He repeated.

He pushed himself completely inside of me. I moanded in pain and pleasure to have him fully sheathed inside me. Our bodies moved together as one. My hands clutching him. Pulling him closer. Our mouths dueled with wet and hot kisses as he thrust deeper and deeper.

I felt the mucsles contract with my second orgasm. He grunted and kept right on plowing into me. I felt dizzy. He began grunting frantically I opened my eyes in time to watch his face as he came inside me. His face was so happy and peaceful.

He collapsed on top of me and I sighed.

I drifted into a peaceful dreamless sleep.

I woke up feeling overheated and looked at Jake's sleeping form. I pulled myself from his body and sat up. We'd somehow managed to get into his closet of a room. I sat there my thoughts racing over what had transpired.

I felt his warm lips on my exposed shoulder and smiled.

"Sleep well?" He asked cautiously.

"Mmhmm" I replied.

"Bella..."

"Hmm?"

"Did you mean what you said yesterday?" He asked. His voice sounded so unsure.

I shifted so I was looking into his eyes. I saw the love and desire and fear. I leaned in and kissed his lips softly.

"Every word."

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too."

I felt so completely and utterly happy. It was as if everything that had happened led me to this moment. Like I was meant for Jacob. Everything felt like it would be better.

I was brought from my thoughts by the shrill ringing of the phone. Jake slipped on some pants and quickly went to answer it.

"What? Shit. Okay."

He rushed back into the room, "Bella. I need you to stay here."

"What?"

"You need to stay here, promise me."

"Jake... You're scaring me."

"I love you Bella."

He kissed my forehead and was out the window. The slightest tint of russet fur before he completely disappeared.

The knots in my stomach were eating at me. I walked around his house for 2 hours. Then I couldn't wait anymore. I needed to go home. I needed to take a shower. I walked out and climbed into my truck. The ride home was quicker. The sky was ominous, threatening a storm. A big one at that.

I pulled up to the house to find the door was wide open. I should have turned around and fled, but the cruiser in the driveway stopped me from moving far.

I shut the truck off and ran up the few stairs, the house was completely trashed. I looked around panic gripping me. I ran from room to room not seeing Charlie.

"Dad? DAD? CHARLIE? DAAAD?" I screamed.

I ran back to the living room and stopped in my tracks. I could see the top of Charlie's head, he was in his recliner.

I instantly felt relieved, "Dad you scared me." I said placing my hand on his shoulder.

I looked at him and it wasn't right. He was so pale and so cold. His eyes were closed.

"Daddy?" I asked out loud.

That's when I saw the blood. The blood on his neck. I screamed. Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Daddy... Daddy please wake up. Dad? I love you. Dad please wake up." I sobbed.

I knew it was fruitless, I knew he was gone. I stood up on wobbly legs and ran from the house fleeing from the scene. Trying to make it disappear. Trying to wake up from the nightmare.

Climbing into the truck and driving back to La Push. I got to the treaty line and standing there with flame colored hair was Victoria.

Without thinking I got out of the car and ran at her. Fury rolling off me in waves.

She laughed coldly, "Like you could hurt me. You pathetic human."

That's when I saw Jacob...

The air rushed from my lungs in a loud whoosh. "Jacob?" I whispered tentatively.

I rushed to his side. I could hear his heart faintly. Victoria grabbed me and I slammed into a tree.

I watched in horror as she lifted Jake's limp body and tore his head off.

I heard an agonized blood curdling scream. I realized it was me. I got up and ran I fled really. I managed to get on top of the cliffs at first beach. I stood on the ledge and flung myself off.

But Victoria wouldn't have it, she was already in the water. She was behind me.

"A mate for a mate. I threw your dad in for fun. Now you can live for eternity. Not with the Cullen's and with no one."

I felt her teeth sink into my flesh. I screamed again in pain, my voice hoarse. Then I sank into darkness...

A/N this will eventually become a Jasper/Bella story. Let me know what you think so far. I know it's off to a shaky start but it's necessary.

-Lizbeth


	2. Awake

**Chapter 2: Awake**

I opened my eyes slowly taking in my surroundings. Everything was crystal clear as I struggled to pull my memories. I stood up and was astounded at how fast I was able to stand without stumbling or feeling dizzy at all. I looked around and I was in a small cave. One that Jacob and I would sneak into and talk. So I was in La Push. I began pacing trying to think of why I was there.

Memories began to surface and they were hazy and unfocused. I forced myself to concentrate harder and it all came back. Charlie was dead, Jacob was dead...

"Victoria." I whispered.

My voice was all wrong it was melodic and tinkled, not my usual voice at all. I was a vampire. So many human memories hit me. Edward. How I loved him. How he left me. Alice. She left me too. Esme and Carlisle. It was all because of a paper cut. If they hadn't left they would have been able to intercept Victoria. Charlie would be alive. Jacob would be alive.

My throat burned dully in my throat, but I was to upset to eat. I snuck carefully out of the cave and ran to my house. It looked deserted and empty. No longer a crime scene. They didn't have the means to keep the house locked up. I managed to climb through a window and sat on my bed...

There was a small leather bound journal and I picked it up and quickly read through it. About the giant hole in my chest that happened because of Edward. How I didn't really love Jacob but I was planning on giving myself to him anyways... About how I hated every single one of the Cullen's except for one. I never blamed one. It wasn't his fault I had gotten a paper cut. It was my own. He reacted out of instinct...

Sitting felt all wrong too. I got up and began to search around the house. Looking for things I could carry with me easily. I would have no money to start with. I would have to be very careful. I was in the kitchen looking at the disgusting human food when there was a knock on the door. A frantic knocking.

"Charlie... Charlie?"

I froze and sniffed the air. Alice...

I walked over and opened the door hesitantly. She stood there even more beautiful than I could picture in memory. Her small frame looked haggard and she looked horrible.

"Bella!" She exclaimed reaching for me.

Instinctively I crouched low and snarled at her.

She began to look at me more closely, she looked so confused and even a bit scared. The power I felt was incredible. She obviously couldn't have seen this coming.

"What do you want?"

"I saw you jump off a cliff."

"Well your visions are not too accurate. If you could have seen everything you would have seen Victoria KILL Charlie. KILL Jacob... Then CHANGED me." I seethed at her.

"Jacob?"

"I was WITH Jacob... She killed him."

"I don't understand."

She began to walk towards me and I snarled at her again.

"I don't want anything to do with you or your family."

The hurt and confusion was evident on her face. I quickly snatched up the human journal I had kept after they left. I tossed it to her my eyes pointed hatefully on her face.

"Take that to your precious family. To your brother Edward..."

His name sounded like a swear word as I spat it out. I noticed that it still brought some pain to my cold and dead heart.

"Bella... We never meant... We didn't think..." Alice was fumbling for words. She looked like if she could, she would be crying.

I ignored her and stalked past her out of the house. I didn't need anything. I would find a way to get money all on my own.

Once out of the house I began to run. I knew she wouldn't be able to catch up to me so I ran and I ran. I stopped briefly to kill a herd of deer. They were strangely satisfying and tasted better than I thought they would. The smell of human blood was repulsive to me. Perhaps that stemmed from me never liking human blood to begin with. The rust smell always left me feeling quezy.

So I could walk among the humans relatively undetected. My great hearing and sight helped me as I opened a bank account stealing money out of other peoples accounts. I had well over a million dollars from several different accounts.

Acting human came naturally to me, too naturally. I still shifted and I remembered to breathe. So I came to a city that was not only equipt with city life, but it was close enough to woods with plenty of deer and a few rare mountain lions here and there.

Grand Rapids, Michigan. Larger in sheer size than Detroit, but not nearly as populated. It made for a perfect cover. I could attend the local university and blend in with ease. I chose a modest home on the west side, On Powers and Arianna. It was a light blue two story two bedroom and two bath home. I hired a decorator and had the home filled with all human things.....

APOV

I managed to get back to New Hampshire with ease while my mind was still racing. Bella was alive... Well undead, and hated me. I felt all kinds of hurt as I trudged up the stairs where the family was waiting for me.

I noticed Edward sitting at his piano, the more painful look on his face. I could see him contemplating the several forms of suicide he would try. He knew better than to ask our help, but was planning on going to the Volturi once I stated the news...

"Well?" Carlisle asked anxiously as I walked in.

"She's alive..." I began tentatively, as I watched Edward relax. "She's like us."

"WHAT?" Edward roared.

The look of concentration on his face I could see he was trying in vain to read my thoughts.

His face softened when her face came into my memory.

"Where is she?" Carlisle asked concerned.

"She ran from me. She was changing her mind so much... She doesn't want to be found by us."

"What happened to her?" Rosalie asked.

"Victoria... She killed Charlie, and Bella's boyfriend Jacob Black."

Edward winced at my words but I continued.

"She gave me her journal. I think I should read it out loud to you all. Well the pages she marked. I'm sure she marked them because she wanted to remember these specific times..."

_"Love. Life. Meaning. Over. Edward is gone... I always knew it was to good to be true. Why anyone as handsome and supernatural as him could ever really want me. I was just a toy to him. Some experiment to him... If I meant nothing to him... I wish he would have just drained me. Killed me. Then I wouldn't be feeling like this. I wouldn't feel like there's a gaping hole in my chest. I feel like I have to physically hold myself together. I heard Charlie talking to Renee. Using words like Catatonic and stuff. I do what I need to do to get through the day. I wake up screaming every-night. I miss him so much... But it's pointless... He never loved me..."_

I stopped reading and looked at Edward. The torrment in his eyes made me pause. He nodded slightly so I continued.

_"It's been months now and I feel like I'm finally coming alive again. All thanks to my personal sun, Jacob Black. He's a werewolf. Apparently I'm a magnet for the supernatural. But it's ok. His packed saved me from Laurent. I was stupid. Trying to find Edward's meadow. Every time I do something stupid and reckless I can hear his voice. I know it's only me hallucinating. But it has been bringing me comfort..._"

"We really fucked her up." Emmett commented suddenly.

I brushed it off and began again, _"I've come to the conclusion I hate the Cullen's. Every last one of them. Rosalie for always hating me. I could never do anything right in her eyes. I was just a stupid human... Emmett for giving me the big brother I'd always wanted and just leaving. No, goodbye... Was it a game to him too? Carlisle and Esme for saying I was part of the family... How could I EVER be apart of that family... What did I do wrong? Alice... Alice was my best friend. I finally had a friend and she abandoned me. Left me alone without a goodbye. I had so many questions for her... And finally Edward... I hate him. I hope he dies. I hope he comes back and Jacob and his pack rips him to shreds for what he's done to me. I'm so screwed up now. How am I supposed to ever love again... Jasper was the only one who was real... He always treated me like a human. My birthday he acted on instinct. I wish he would have killed me then. If I ever see him again I'll ask him to kill me... But I've come to a conclusion. Tonight is the night. I'm staying the night in La Push. I'm not in love with Jacob... But he's in love with me. He's done so much for me. Been there through the dark times and has begun to fill the hole inside of me. I'm going to give myself to him. I'm going to ask him tonight. I have it all planned out. Maybe there is still some happiness out there for me..."_

I stopped reading looking carefully at the date and gasping.

"What?" Jasper asked smoothly.

"This was written 4 days ago. It means that Bella is a newborn. It means that the night she gave herself to Jacob Victoria killed her father and then her lover.... She made it so that she took everything..."

I looked at Edward he was leaving the room. If he could be crying he would be. We never expected anything like this. We weren't prepared to deal with it all. Then I was struck by a string line of visions.

All of Jasper and Bella together. Bella looked happy, as did Jasper...

I looked at him questioningly.

"You're leaving..."

"Am I?" He asked confused.

"You're going to finish your latest degree in history."

"Are you coming?" he asked.

"No." I frowned sadly.

Part of me always knew Bella would be a vampire. It only now became clear that she was meant for Jasper. Not for Edward. I'd known all along Jasper wasn't meant for me... But I kept him. It was finally time for me to let him go...

**A/N:**

Well this was a hard chapter to write. Things are going to pick up soon. What with Bella being in such control. I know it's kind of weird. Please stick with me on this. I promise you'll like the out come. :) Thanks to all those reviewers out there. It makes my day!!! :) Lots of Love. -Lizbeth


	3. Meeting

Chapter 3: Meeting

I was standing in the comfortable silence of my new home. Looking at the artfully decorated room. I knew having expensive things was risky in the neighborhood I chose to live in. But I couldn't bring myself to live in the nicer area. If ever a Cullen came here that is where they would go. So if they did I would at least have time before they found me.

I paced unnecessarily through the home looking at the books and paintings. I had enrolled at the local Community College so that I could begin moving on with my life. I was fascinated with humans. My own human memories had begun to fade dramatically and it was intriguing to watch them. I had no desire for their blood. Only interested in the way they reacted with other humans.

I decided once I was settled I would make the most of my new life. I would blend in and try to be as normal as possible. Then when it got to the point where it was evident that I wasn't aging I would move on.

I picked up my compilation book of Jane Austen and flipped through the pages to Pride and Prejudice. Reading it now as a Vampire was interesting. To see the magnitude of human emotions and know love could go beyond what they felt. It seemed unreal to me, that I would sit there reading normally. However, for me it just felt right.

I walked out of the house to my newly purchased used Taurus. I still wasn't one for flashy and expensive things. If I was going to blend in on the west side and brand new car wouldn't look good. Not good at all.

I made my way to the campus and slipped a pair of dark sunglasses on. My eyes were still a murky red. Not quite bright. But I'd been feeding on several deer. Perhaps that's what was making my eyes lighter sooner. I felt a stab of pain when I thought the only person who could really answer me... I would never see.

I walked through the crowded buildings until I found the History class I decided to take. History was never a favorite for me in high school. But now with being able to remember so much more it seemed as though I couldn't get enough.

I sank into a seat and waited for the lecture to begin.

"The 18th century lasted from 1701 to 1800 in the Gregorian calendar, in accordance with the Anno Domini/Common Era numbering system.

However,Western historians sometimes specifically define the 18th century otherwise for the purposes of their work. For example, the "short" 18th century may be defined as 1715–1789, denoting the period of time between the death of Louis XIV of France and the start of the French Revolution with an emphasis on directly interconnected events.

To historians who expand the century to include larger historical movements, the "long" 18th century may run from the Glorious Revolution of 1688 to the battle of Waterloo in 1815 or even later. During the 18th century, the Enlightenment culminated in the French and American revolutions. Philosophy and science increased in prominence. Philosophers were dreaming about a better age without the Christian fundamentalism of earlier centuries. This dream turned into a nightmare during the terror of Maximlien de Robespierre in the early 1790s. At first, the monarchies of Europe embraced enlightenment ideals, but with the French revolution, they were on the side of the counterrevolution.

Great Britain became a major power worldwide with the defeat of France in the Americas in the 1760s and the conquest of large parts of India. However, Britain lost the USA after the American revolution. The industrial revolution started in Britain in around the 1770s. Despite its modest beginnings in the 18th century, it would radically change human society and the geology of the surface of the earth."

As the professor droned on and some of my classmates were looking very bored, I felt energetic. Then for no reason at all I felt shock and awe. I looked around the room and my eyes settled onto a pair of topaz eyes across the room. I drank in his appearance his beautiful face and lovely blond hair. I was instantly drawn to him, and feeling aroused.

I shook my head slightly wondering what effect he was having over me. But I couldn't look away from him. He still looked concerned. Suddenly what the professor was saying was lost on me. I didn't care anymore. I needed to get over and speak to Jasper. I needed to hear his voice. His scent was delicious. He smelt of dark chocolate and Cinnamon with a hint of fresh cut grass. The scents together did wonderful things to my body.... Things I hadn't expected to feel...Lust...

JPOV

I got a modest 2 bedroom home on the outskirts of Grand Rapids. Not many neighbors, access to the woods. It would make things extremely easy for me.

Everything was ready when I arrived. Alice must have done something. I stood in the newly furnished living room and pondered Alice. I'd memorised all of her looks. This look was off, she had looked sad, guilty, and happy all in one. I never understood her...

I walked around and around my new home drinking in the detail. It was an older home newly renovated. Alice knew me all to well. The thing that bothered me was the second bedroom was made with wall to wall books and a closet filled with clothes.

I shook my head wondering if Alice would decide to join me at some point. I walked into my room and had to smile. It was done to my taste. Reminding me of a home I had vague memories of. Texas. Then to my utter surprise was an old album. I lifted it gingerly paying special care. I flipped it open and fell to my knees. Before me were pictures of my childhood. Of my parents and me. Me in my uniform for war... It was unnerving to see all of these images and only have fuzzy images in my head. This made some of those memories brighter.

I saw a small note tucked inside and I took it out and read it.

_Jasper,  
When this letter is finished, please don't hate me.  
I know you're wondering why you could ever hate  
me. But I think this is something I need to finally get  
off my chest. I really screwed things up Jasper. When  
we moved back to Forks and I had the visions I did of  
Bella. I doctored them. Edward only saw what I  
wanted him to see. You weren't meant to be mine.  
You were never mine Jazz, not really. It was you  
Bella was supposed to fall in love with. It was you  
that was meant to change her. But I lied. I didn't want  
to lose you. Even though I knew she would bring you  
more happiness. I lied. I ruined Edward's life. When  
we left everything shifted. I would have visions of us  
we never make it to the end. You always leave.  
But when I saw Bella. Everything changed. It's  
giving you a second chance. She's your true mate.  
I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I'll always  
love you Jasper._

Ally

I read and reread the letter in disbelief. She was my mate? Wasn't she? I thought we had committed to each other. Her letter left me feeling depressed and angry. She was leaving me? After we'd spent the better part of a century together? I wasn't meant for Bella... Edward was. I nearly killed Bella... How could she be meant for me?

I was still in a daze when I entered the Community College. I chose that college because it had the professor with the highest credentials. And it would have less humans to interact with. The less people to interact with the better. I was good with my control, but I didn't want to tempt myself. I was listening to a speech I'd heard several times before getting a feel for the emotions of my classmates.

The majorety were bored out of their minds. Then one emotion hit me, it was energetic and incredibly happy. I looked around trying to place a face with that emotion. My jaw dropped.

There across the room was Isabella Swan. Her features were partially hidden by dark sunglasses. She seemed completely at ease around the humans. Sniffing the air I wondered why I didn't realize it right away. It was probably due to the fact that the thought of seeing her never even crossed my mind. I drank her appearance in. Every detail. Her hair hung wavy and shiny. It was gorgeous in the classroom light. Her pale skin and her red lips... Her lips so full and pouty. I felt the urge to go to her.

That's when I noticed her staring at me. Her expression was one of hunger. I could feel the lust coming off her in waves. It excited and frightened me at the same time.

I decided when class was over I was going to just go straight home. I wasn't going to speak to her. Not yet. It was too soon...

BPOV

Class ended and Jasper left the classroom in a hurry. I watched him go.

"You can run but you can't hide." I whispered to myself.

I was out of the classroom smelling him. I found his scent and stalked it. I was very stealthy and able to get to his house. I watched from the shaddows as he entered a modest little house. It wasn't anything I expected. I sniffed the air and I couldn't smell a trace of the Cullen's. He was alone? This might work to my advantage.

I let instinct completely take over as I stalked my prey. I climbed through and open window and pounced. I grabbed him by his hips and tore the clothing off his body in a frenzy. Once he was naked I drank him in, licking my lips. His lean muscle and his abs. He looked edible, but I wasn't in the mood for foreplay.

"Bella." He protested in the most glorious southern accent.

I frantically tore the clothes from my body and pressed myself against him. His skin was warm against mine. I pushed him into the chair he was in front of and stradled his hips. I looked into his honey colored eyes while he looked into my murky red ones. He looked amazed, and I could feel his reaction to me against my leg.

"Do you like this Mr. Whitlock?" I asked huskily in his ear.

Rubbing my wet core against him, teasing him. His hands reached up and firmly grabbed my hips. I dropped my weight down on him and he filled me completely. It was an incredible feeling to feel so filled.

I moaned loudly throwing my head back. I leaned forward my tits dangling in his face and his mouth opened. He sucked one into his mouth swirling his tongue around the already hard nipple. I growled in pleasure. Sounds were coming from both of us that were forign to me. I didn't know how to describe them. They were primal.

I was riding him with a rough and fast tempo. His hands roaming my body as I clung to his shoulders. It was pure fucking. It was needy and animalistic. My insticts wiped my mind clean as I just went with what I was feeling.

"Isabella." He groaned.

His voice threw me over. Without out thinking I bit down hard on his shoulder as I came. Marking him as mine, as my mate. What I didn't expect was him to do the same thing.

I clung to him as I came down from my high... My conscious slowly catching up with me. When I realized what I had done I flew backwards looking at him in shock and confusion.

"We should really talk Darlin..." He drawled.

**A/N... Well it's not too much longer. But I decided I would post this tonight. I'm a mom of two so sometimes I don't get much time on the computer. What with cleaning, cooking, and diapers. :) But here you go. I hope you enjoy. This story is fast paced, and I like it that way. Hopefully you do as well. :) Let me know what you think. :) - Lizbeth  
**


	4. Discussions

**Chapter 4: Dicussions**

I clung to him as I came down from my high... My conscious slowly catching up with me. When I realized what I had done I flew backwards looking at him in shock and confusion.

"We should really talk Darlin..." He drawled.

I looked up at him seeing how comfortable he was in his nakedness. I didn't feel shy or ashamed of my actions. But I felt caustious.

"ok." I replied.

He approached me with his hand outstrectched and I took it easily and we went to the living room and sat on the long couch. We didn't need to sit down, but even as a vampire I felt it would be better for conversations sake.

"Where do we start?" I asked him.

He sniffed the air and walked into a bedroom and back out in less than a minute holding a piece of paper with my name on it. I took it carefully and read.  
_  
Bella,  
I know you don't want to talk to me, and I don't  
blame you for that. I barely want to talk to myself.  
There are some things that I should tell you.  
Jasper isn't my mate. He wasn't meant for me.  
When we moved back to Forks and I had visions  
of you. You weren't with Edward. I had to alter  
what I saw to keep Jasper for myself. I was selfish.  
He was meant for you Bella. It was always supposed  
to be you and him... Edward got hurt in the crossfire.  
I thought that since he was so lonely and he  
couldn't read your mind that he would make you his.  
Then I could keep Jasper. I tried desperately to  
make him see reason... To why we should stay.  
Why we shouldn't leave you behind. I'm sorry  
Victoria wasn't one of the things I used. I'm so  
sorry Bella. After I saw you the visions started again...  
Of you and Jasper. I knew this time I wouldn't  
be able to stop fate. What's meant to be... Is  
meant to be. I thought I could change that. I  
never stopped loving you Bella. You'll always be  
my sister. I'm sorry that I was so selfish in forcing  
you and Edward to being something I thought  
was best for the whole family...._

Forever  
Alice

I read it with a mixture of anger, sadness, and disbelief. I looked up and met Jasper's eyes. He was watching me with uncertainty in his eyes. He looked as scared as I felt inside.

I walked over and placed my hand on his bare chest looking into his eyes. I felt a connection. I true connection. It wasn't electrical, it was like a force pulled me to him. Like he became the center of my universe, like I was tethered to him...

"How do you feel?" I asked him.

"As confused and unsure as you."

I pondered what he said and smiled weakly.

"You're the only one I wasn't mad at."

"You wanted me to kill you."

"Yes and No... I didn't write what I was really thinking."

"What was that?" He asked cocking an eyebrow. Penetrating my soul with his gaze.

"That I wanted you to take me away." I whispered.

"I always watched you Isabella. I always followed you. I felt the urge to be near you. It was frustrating because I felt a connection... But we'd learned not to bet against Alice."

His words sounded bitter.\par

I smiled comfortingly, "Well we'll have to make up for lost time."

His eyes looked tortchered, "I wanted to change you from the moment I saw you. If I had.. Your father... Jacob... None of that would have happened."

"I don't blame you Jasper. I blame HIM." I said vehmently.

He nodded smiling at me his eyes twinkling.

For the first time it was like everything clicked. It felt right and perfect. I could be happy again...

EPOV

"Everyone, we need to talk." Alice's voice tinkled.

I moved from my room slowly to join my family. I sat at my piano bench, thinking about the lullaby I wrote for my Bella. I missed her so much, I would have to go to her. I would beg her forgiveness. I would make her not hate me. We could be together for eternity now.

These thoughts left my mind when Alice stood before us looking lost and upset.

"Alice?" I asked.

She frowned my way but quickly made her face unreadable as she recited non sense spanish in her head.

"What is it Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm leaving for a while."

"Why!" Esme exclaimed looking heartbroken.

"I'm the reason our family is falling apart. I was stupid... I was selfish. I just need to be alone.

"What about Jasper?" I asked her.

The pain that flashed in her eyes reminded me of my own.

"I wasn't honest about the visions I've been having..."

"What do you mean Alice?"

I hadn't meant for my voice to sound so harsh, but I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. What ever she was trying to keep from me would be hurtful.

Our eyes met and she sighed in defeat. My head was then clogged with visions... Jasper saving Bella from the van. Jasper changing Bella to keep her safe. Jasper and Bella getting married. Then those began to change into blankness. Then I could see Jasper and Bella in school... Jasper and Bella...

Fury grew inside me and my monster purred. The monster I had kept down begging for me to let him out. To kill the pixie who ruined everything.

"I don't understand." I said numbly.

"Bella was never meant for you Edward. Just as Jasper was never meant for me. It was always Jasper and Bella."

There was an audible silence that filled the room.

Alice looked lost and confused, "I was selfish I didn't want to give Jasper up... That's why I tried to convince you not to leave..."

Without speaking to anyone I walked up to my room. The pain and depression I felt were nothing compared to what I felt now. I had always assumed that when I decided to go back for Bellla, she would be waiting for me. She would be mine. But now... Now she wouldn't want me. She wasn't meant for me?

The monster began plotting. I would get Bella back somehow...

BPOV

It had been a couple of days and I'd already moved in with Jasper. It was weird how well everything fit together. It was nice. Michigan in the fall was a perfect place to be. It was cloudy most of the time and on sunny days I could do my schooling by computer.

I was walking around the living room trying to decide what sounded like fun. I was feeling bored.

"Isabella."

I smiled turning to Jasper, "You're home early."

"We are going to have some... visitors."

By the tone of his voice it looked like it wasn't open for discussion.

"Who?" I asked.

"Carlisle and Esme."

I sighed in relief, I wasn't ready to face Edward. A small part of my concisous felt guilty, but it wasn't my fault and I pushed the thoughts from my mind.

"Ok.. I'll be good." I smiled.

He grinned and stalked over pulling me to his chest. The embrace was loving. He leaned closer gently licking my earlobe.

"What are you doing Isabella?" He asked huskily.

I'd never liked anyone saying my name like that, but coming from Jasper and his southern drawl it was perfect.

"Hmm... I don't know." I sighed teasingly rubbing myself against him.

He growled and gribbed me up by my ass.

"Well Darlin, show me yours I'll show you mine."

I pushed away from him slowly stripping of my clothes, dancing seductively keeping eye contact. Licking my lips and running my hands up and down my body.

"Like what you see cowboy?" I purred.

That's when he pounced, our mouths hot and firey melting together in a mix of passion and lust. Our hands roaming up and down one anothers bodies. I nuzzled my head into his neck kissing, licking, and biting his flesh.

He lifted me up high and pulled me down onto his hard cock. It was sensual and pleasing in this position. Him standing. My legs wrapped around his waist with my hands on his shoulders. Him holding onto my ass. I used my upper body muscles to lift myself up and down along his hard thick shaft. I would rise up so that just the head was inside. Then drop my weight so he was fully sheathed inside. Our eyes were locked as we continued our frenzied movements. Up and down and up and down. I wiggled my hips in a circle causing him to moan out in pleasure.

I felt the warming sensation growing in my stomach... We were moving together in a steady rhythm and I felt an explosion. I could see stars and juices ran down his leg. He groaned, "Oh Fuck me, Fuck Isabella."

I felt his seed filling me as he stayed burried deep within me. He carried us to the bedroom and we lay on the bed. He began to make love to me. It was sweet and tender. He slowly teased my body with his. As we built towards our second release.

"J...J...J...asper." I squealed. I squirmed beneath him my muscles spasming so good.

"I love you Isabella."

His voice was quiet and I smiled up into his beautiful eyes.

**  
A/N's: I know it's a tad short. Sorry!!! It'll be better next time though... ~Lizbeth**


	5. Family

**A/N: Thanks to all of you who are reviewing me and adding me to their favorite lists!!! I'll try to update a regularly as possible. But having two babies sometimes it's hard. ;) So here we go again.  
SM owns all… Lucky gal… Lucky gal…**

Chapter 5: Family  
  
"We really should get dressed, Darlin." Jasper smirked.

"But I'm comfy." I whined playfully.

"I know, but I'm sure it would make Carlisle and Esme slightly uncomfortable."

I pouted jutting my bottom lip out.

Chuckling Jasper sighed, "Bella… They'll be here any minute."

"Oh okay… You just don't want to get caught with your pants down." I teased.

"Do you?"

"I would be kinky." I giggled, wagging my eyebrows suggestively.

"You're a naughty girl."

We both laughed dressing quickly and straightening up the house. We didn't want it to look too messy. I had just straightened up the last of the mess when the doorbell sounded.

Suddenly I wasn't feeling so cocky and bold. Suddenly I was extremely nervous. Jasper shot me a comforting glance and walked over to the door to greet his parents.

Within seconds I was wrapped in Esme's comforting embrace while a beaming Carlisle just stood there patiently.

"Hello Bella." He greeted warmly.

I was so overwhelmed, I had been so angry and now, I was happy. Blissfully happy.

"We've missed you so much dear." Esme smiled truthfully.

"I've missed you all too." I said brokenly.

Jasper was instantly by my side looking worried and concerned.

"I'm ok. It's just…. Wow." I chuckled.

"Oh this is ridiculous. Bella, Jasper. You should come home. We should all talk this through as a family… If we want to stay a family." Carlisle exclaimed.

"Especially since Alice told us everything. All of us." Esme said with a look at Jasper.

He looked nervous and I hated how even now they were trying to protect me.

"Edward. You can say it. Edward." I said flatly.

Carlisle and Esme exchanged glances sighing.

"Yes, Bella. We all need to discuss this. If you are indeed part of the family."

Jasper turned me to him obviously feeling my trepidation and nervousness.

"Do you want to be part of the family?" He asked softly.

I looked at him incredulously, "Of course I do. We'll go back for the weekend. But I'd like to return here. If possible."

His smile was radiant and he pulled me to him.

We stood around and chatted and it was all too much for me to listen to right now. I was warring in myself. Willing myself to be civil to those whom I'd previously willed myself to hate.

We left quickly and we drove….

EPOV

I paced around the room plotting. I could always kill Jasper, then she'd eventually be mine. We could fight to the death for her. I could whisk her away… Several ideas came in and out of my head. Each sounding more and more impossible. I would have to see her. I had to know if there was anything there worth salvaging.

I paced for what seemed like hours when I stopped dead in my tracks. I could smell her before I heard any of them. The scent of freesia was heavy in the air, and I heard Carlisle.

**Son it would be wise if you do not overreact. **

I was down the stairs in a flash and they walked in. Carlisle and Esme followed by my betrayer of a brother and my Bella. Their hands clasped in one another's.

My breath hitched as I looked over her form. She was wearing skin tight black jeans with a stunning red blouse. She looked delicious and venom pooled in my mouth. She was stunning. Vampirism looked good on her. Her skin was only slightly paler but everything else was enhanced perfectly. Her soft red pouty lips. Her eyes which were beginning to show golden flecks in the muddy red. Her luscious hair fell in long ringlets.

"Bella."

It came out as a whispered plea. I needed to snap out of this. Is this what a day dream is? She's going to take her rightful place by my side. I'll love her now as she truly deserves to be loved. I'll make her happy…

"Edward." My name fell off those beautiful lips in a harsh cold tone. Her eyes bore into mine and I shrank away. The hatred and loathing the came from her made me step back.

_She's with me. I'm sorry brother. I am in love with her. Irrevocably in love._

I snapped my head in Jasper's direction and suppressed the urge to snap his head off his shoulders.

_Let us all sit son_

I nodded mutely to my father and took the first seat. Jasper sat down and Bella climbed into his lap looking very comfortable.

My dead heard broke into a thousand shards….

BPOV

I sat on Jasper's lap looking at Edward. He wasn't even trying to mask the pain in his eyes. Momentarily I was overwhelmed with grieve. Seeing him was a shock to my system. It was then I felt the guilt, but only for a minute. No one truly knew my whole story besides Alice. I doubted she had run back and told them all the nitty gritty details.

"A family meeting." Carlisle said lightly.

Within minutes the room was filled. Emmett and Rosalie. Then finally there was Alice. She sat down without looking at me or Jasper.

I decided then that I needed to get some things off my chest.

"May I speak?" I asked Carlisle.

He nodded looking slightly amused and worried.

I stood up and I looked around the room. No one spoke or challenged me. Emmett was unusually quiet and timid, Rose didn't meet my gaze. Alice looked past me. Edward… His eyes followed my every move.

"I want to start from the beginning. I'm assuming Alice gave you the short version. Well I'm going to start with the beginning. Edward left me in the woods. I was alone. I foolishly tried to run after him. I wanted to catch him. But he didn't want me. I was a distraction a silly human. I knew it all along. I knew I was never good enough for him. I knew he would never really love me… I fell into a deep and dark depression. I used to do crazy things. Riding motorcycles and then of course approaching Laurent…"

I paused to look at the shocked faces around the room.

"Laurent?" Edward asked.

His voice was shaky, he looked appalled.

"Yes, anytime I did anything remotely dangerous I would hear you in my head. As if you were there with me. As if you'd never left.. Hallucinations… I know. I tried to find the meadow. I failed several times. But I had to be sure it was real. That it wasn't a dream. When I found it I was relieved and there was Laurent. I greeted him! I was happy to see him. He knew you were gone and was going to kill me. When Jacob and his pack… He was a werewolf. Chased him off and killed him. I had been growing closer to Jake. I knew he loved me. He made me feel better. He brought me back to life when I was a shell of a person. I was on auto pilot a zombie. I grew to hate all of you, for all the things that happened. So I gave my virginity to Jacob… That night she came. Someone called Jake and he left. I couldn't sit there and do nothing so I went home… And that's when I found him… Charlie… My father. Dead. I was so scared. I drove back to the reservation to find Jake lying at the boundary with Victoria there. I watched her rip his head off. Suddenly I wanted to die, I ran to the cliffs and threw myself off… Only to have her drag me to a cave and change me… I was devastated. I had no one. I wanted nothing to do with any of you. If you hadn't left Charlie would still be alive… The only good that's come of it, is I'm now with my true soul mate. The one who's meant for me and I him. I love you Jasper. You've made this whole thing so much better."

I collapsed to the ground in broken sobs. No tear left my eyes but I cried anyways. Jasper scooped me into his arms and I lay there still. The room was quiet. I looked around to see the pure anguish on Edward's face. Alice had fled and I could hear her whimpering from within the house.

I was then pulled into a bone crunching hug. I looked up expecting to see Emmett and was shocked.

"I'm so sorry Bella."

It was Rosalie…

"Rose?"

"I'm so sorry. I always treated you like dirt and you didn't deserve it. If we only knew…. I'm so sorry."

She was being sincere and I had always wanted her acceptance.

"It's okay." I said being diplomatic.

"Well Jasper you and Bella should go up and pick a room for the two of you. We'll have a real meeting in a few hours."

Jasper nodded and carried me up the stairs.

"Which room would you like, Darlin?"

I looked at him and pointed to the one next to Edward's.

He gave me a puzzled look.

"I want him to suffer." I whispered quietly.

**A/N well sorry for the delay but I've been busy with house work as of late… Which I'm neglecting right now. SO now I'm going to clean. This is an emotional chapter… Hope you enjoyed it… Lemons next chapter… And the reall Emmett will return as playful as ever…**


	6. Getting Even

**A/N: Thanks again to my reviewers. This is a short chapter, because I have shopping to do today. But I'm also posting a one shot song fic. CarlislexBella. It's called Selfish. Check it out!!**

**Chapter 6: Getting even**

We entered the room and the monster within took over. I was smiling at Jasper letting all of my lust roll off my body in waves. His eyes became heavily lidded as he stalked towards me.

I ripped the clothes from my body and pounced onto him.

We tumbled to the bed our mouths entangled as our tongues fought. He lifted me up and slammed me against the wall nibbling on the delicate flesh of my neck and I purred.

"Mm Jazz.. I need it Jazz… I need you. Fuck me. Fuck me hard."

I heard a whining and whimpering growl from next door and pushed it out of my mind.

Jasper plunged into me roughly. My back was up against the wall as he continued to slam into me. We were moaning loudly, I didn't care who heard.

"Fuck Bella. You're so Fucking tight." He grunted.

"Only for you baby. This pussy is yours."

"Damn right it's mine… Who's my bitch."

"I am."

My hands on his shoulders as our bodies neared our release. I looked deep into his eyes as I came hard on his cock. My body shaking with spasms. He groaned and I felt him spilling into me.

We stood there and I giggled.

"We should shower." He smirked.

I grabbed his hand and we went into the bathroom we shared with Edward. He had his door open and I could see him watching me, like the pervert he is.

Jasper made a move for the door and I grabbed his hand.

"Let him watch."

Jasper studied my face and shrugged. I could feel we hadn't nearly gotten over our full desire. We climbed into the glass shower and turned on the warm water. It felt good and hot over my body. Jasper positioned himself behind me. He thrust hard into me filling me completely. And I looked into Edward's eyes.

His eyes were full of pain, but he never looked away.

My chest pressed against the glass giving Edward a full view of my naked body as Jasper rammed into me from behind. His hands on my hips. One moved and was rubbing my clit and I threw my head back in pleasure.

My eyes locked with Edward's when I felt my climax coming…

"Ohh Fuck Jasper." I screamed.

My pussy clenched hard on Jasper's cock and he moaned.

"God Damn Bella." As he came inside me.

My body was still spasming with my release and I shivered breaking my eye contact with Edward.

"I love you Jasper…"

EmPOV

I could hear them going at it like bunnies and decided to shout loud enough for them to hear.

"Dayyyumm why don't you go stay in the guest house. Jazz seriously… We don't need to know how tight your girlfriend is."

I laughed my voice echoing off the walls as I heard embarrassed giggles from upstairs…

**I know I know… It's too short. But I have to get shopping. And my kids are acting up and fighting one another. Sooo.. I'll try to get a longer chapter up soon. But in the meantime please read my one shot "Selfish" Reviews are LoVE! **


	7. Avoidance

**A/N: Sorry for my short hiatus. I took my girls to visit my mom from the other side of the state. Hope you enjoy. ;)**

**Thank you to all of my loyal Reviewers! You guys always make my day. ;) This is dedicated to :**

**Kathy Hiester,  
PurpleMeltDown,  
and TillITryIllNeverKnow.**

**You guys rock at Reviewing!**

**Bella's Dress  
.com/sexy_erotic_clubwear/wt_clubwear_**

**Chapter 7: Avoidance  
**  
Jasper and I emerged from the shower and I instantly felt a twinge of guilt. Edward was gone and no where to be seen, but I couldn't stop thinking about the pain in his eyes… I didn't want to be a monster. I just wanted him to know that there was no chance of him and I ever again. I was still Bella deep down, the shy and scared girl I was. But now… Having power… It made me feel invincible. It made me an equal…

"Don't feel guilty, Darlin." Jasper whispered dangerously close to my ear.

I shivered pleasantly and grinned, "If you don't stop that we will miss Carlisle's meeting."

He chuckled, "I wouldn't mind."

His hands roamed up my naked hips, and I purred.

"Children. The meeting."

We heard Carlisle's amused voice sound from the living room. I looked at Jasper and he looked embarrassed.

"What?"

"I must be projecting…."

I laughed with him thinking about the lust that was being sent throughout the house. We dressed quickly. I put on a little black dress. It was satin and felt great against my granite skin. It was sleeveless and it opened to show off my cleavage. It hugged my body and had a one silver sparkly line from the top to bottom. It helped to show all my curves, it was short coming to mid thigh. Jasper wore a silky black button up dress shirt with tan pants. He look delicious.

We walked down the stairs and everyone was present. Rose and Emm, Esme and Carlisle. Alice… But where was Edward.

"DAYYUMM. Jesus Bro look at the body on her. Lil sis… You ain't so little anymore." Emmett's voice and lust filled eyes brought me out of my wonderings.

I watched as Rose punched him powerfully and he began gravelling at her feet.

I chuckled and sat next to Jasper possessively and turned to Carlisle.

"Meeting?"

"Yes, Well Bella… It's been about a month. It might not seem like that to you, since time moves quickly when you have so much of it. But the story is you were kidnapped. Whoever did the kidnapping killed Charlie… Now… as a family we need to stick together…"

"I…" I began trying to cut Carlisle off.

He held up his hand and I quieted. I would let him finish as a sign of respect.

"We were thinking of moving and starting over. We might need to fake your death, so that people are not looking for you. We can arrange it so that the cops find you. Then we will leave after your funeral."

I let his words mull over in my mind for a few moments before asking, "Where will we go."

"To Valdez, Alaska."

"I can get all the documents." Jasper drawled.

"Why Valdez?" I asked curiously.

"It's small and surrounded by the Chugach Mountains, they're heaving glaciated meaning there will be polar bear activity. As of the 2000 census there are 4,036 citizens. But I estimate that now they have about 3,900 people. It's a commercial and sport fishing area and it's quite beautiful. We have a house there. We haven't lived in yet. And I can work for the Providence Valdez Medical Center."

"Ok… so how do we fake my death?"

For days we worked out all of the kinks. Carlisle would bring blood of mine from the hospital. I had donated blood in case I ever needed surgery because of my clumsiness as a human. Which would help. We would smear the blood over my body and I would be taken to Carlisle who would pronounce me dead. Then after my funeral we would move.

Everyone help, including Alice. I was slowly letting her back into my life. It wasn't entirely her fault. She accepted Jasper and I and I had to commend her for that. I could understand how hard it was for her. But she began having visions that she would be meeting someone in Alaska and it would all work out for her in the end.

I sat in her room while she applied the lifeless color to my red lips. I looked in the mirror and had to hand it to her. I looked like a corpse. My cold body and the way I could move and be stiff would make this very believable.

It was hard when the deputy found me and let out a strangled sob. I felt guilty laying there with my eyes wide opened. Seemingly unseeing.

"Oh Bella… Bella… I'm so sorry…" He whispered.

It was sad seeing someone whom I'd only met a couple times go to pieces. But being 18 forever wouldn't be horrible…

I let my mind wander trying to remember and think about the human memories I had. I tried to remember Renee. I tried to remember Charlie's smile..

I had been reliving so many memories I didn't realize I was laying in an open casket until I heard Carlisle speak clearly in my ear.

"In two hours Bella they will have me close and seal the casket, so two more hours and we'll leave."

I listened and heard the people that came up to say their goodbyes.

Angela and Ben, Jessica and Lauren… Then Mike Newton. Hearing him actually cry made me feel slightly bad for him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't more persistent Bella. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

That's when I heard her voice.

"Bella? Oh God No… BELLA."

It was Renee. I could hear the clicking of her shoes as she ran towards me. I could hear the frantic tone to her voice. Unbelieving. I felt her warm and gently stroke my face. I could feel her warm tears splashing down on me.

"What happened to you baby? My baby… You can't be dead. Bella… You're just playing a mean trick on me."

"Renee." Phil's voice sounded.

"No, Phil… Please don't let this happen. She's not really dead…"

Phil silently comforted Renee, who was sobbing uncontrollably.

"This is all wrong. My baby was supposed to bury me. I'm not supposed to bury her? Why my baby? My only baby. Why did I let you come to this place. I should have kept you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Bella. I love you."

The guilt was eating me inside. Human memories flashed before my eyes. I was always the strong one. Who was going to put Renee back together now? I felt sick inside. I could lie to anyone. But I wanted to sit up. I wanted to comfort my mother. The mother I would never see again…

When Carlisle finally came out and got me I couldn't hold it anymore. I began sobbing. Broken tearless sobs. I wanted to cry more than anything.

Carlisle gave me a comforting hug and held me arms length.

"It'll be alright Bella. It'll be hard for a while. But it'll be okay."

I nodded mutely and he led me to a car where Jasper was waiting. I climbed in beside him and he placed his hand on my thigh.

"I'm fine." I smiled falsely at his concerned look.

His penetrating unwavering eyes made me crack, "I'd forgotten about Renee."

He nodded, "Well we're leaving now. You and I are catching a plane and going straight to our new home."

He handed me an Id and I looked at it. September 13th 1991.

"I was born in '87."

"I know that Darlin. But starting over the younger we start. The longer we can stay."

"I'm supposed to be fourteen?"

"Yes, am I'm 15."

"You can't be a freshman at 15..."

"I'm not Darlin. I'll be a sophomore with Rose and Emmett."

"So I'm a freshman with Alice?"

"And Edward."

I smiled, "Jealous?"

"No, but I'm Rose's twin. I just wish I didn't have to pretend that."

"It's alright… Okay so what's our story."

"Alright well Carlisle and Esme are 28. You are to be their biological daughter. Esme had you at 14. But her and Carlisle then got married and he became a doctor. Then they began adopting. Wanting to have a large family."

"Ok."

We got to the airport and it wasn't as busy as I expected it to be. We got onto our plane with no problems and took off. I took in every detail. Being on the plane with Jasper was exciting.

"Hey cowboy… Wanna join the mile high club?" I whispered in his ear.

He smiled his eyes smoldering, so I excused myself and went into the small bathroom. I waited for his light knock and let him in. We undressed at the speed of light and I wrapped my arms around his neck as we kissed. It was passion and sex rolled in one. He lifted me from the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

He plunged into my already wet core and groaned. "God Bella… You're so tight."

I gently sucked his ear lobe into my mouth, "You feel good baby."

It was too fast and quiet for me to properly enjoy it. We finished clinging to one another. We dressed and straightened up and made our way back to our seats.

Once we landed and had our luggage I looked at Jasper, "Car?"

"We have one waiting for us. It's all yours."

I smiled and we walked into the parking area and I was floored.

Sitting there was a brand new 2006 Mercedes-Benz CLC-Class. It was black and shiny. The inside had gray leather. It was beautiful.

"Are these even out yet?" I asked him.

"I made a few calls."

"I love it." I beamed hugging him.

We put our luggage in the trunk and I got into my brand new car. It drove like a dream. Pushing the speed to 160 mph it was comfortable.

"Bella, Carlisle, Rose and Emmett will be joining us tomorrow. They're finishing up in Forks. Esme, Alice, and Edward have been getting the house ready."

"Ok."

We drove in a comfortable silence and I realized I hadn't seen nor heard Edward since the shower incident. He must be avoiding me. But once we arrived it would be hard for him to ignore me.

I knew all the stats of our new school having done some relatively easy research online. Valdez High, located at 319 Robe River Drive. Including Alice, Edward and myself there were approximately 66 freshman. Including Rose, Emmett and Jasper there were 93 sophomores, 51 juniors, and 74 seniors. A total of 284 students. Meaning smaller classes and more attention. Not that any of us would need the extra help. It would make our grades not stand out as much.

The Providence Valdez Medical Center was located at 911 Meals Ave. Which we had been all laughing about. A vampire working in a hospital around humans on a street called Meals Avenue.

We drove through the Chugach Mountains up into the forest to our new home. I was astounded. The sheer beauty of the home took my breath away. It stood completely isolated in the mountains. Standing three stories high and built with dark granite and cherry wood. It stood out beautifully against the white mountains.

We entered the house and into a wonderful room. Bright white marble floors with a green granite fire place built into a wall. The grand staircase with the marble stairs with a wrap around railing of dark cherry wood. The high ceilings and crown moldings were breathtaking.

We walked through into the open kitchen and I laughed. It was completely stocked. It was a chef's kitchen. Double ovens and granite counter tops. If I had been human it would have been my favorite room.

I turned around and giggled. There was an elevator. Who lived in a house with an elevator?

"Like it?" Jasper asked.

"I love it."

We kissed chastely then made our way upstairs. He led me to two French doors and pushed the open. Inside was a sitting area. It was cozy and also had a fire place. Plush white carpets that felt so soft under my bare feet. There were two black leather recliners with a night stand between them with an antique lamp. A desk in the corner with two brand new lap tops. And to my surprise 4 book shelves filled with books.

I looked to another door and pushed it open and gasped. There was the biggest window I'd ever seen. The room had an entire Bob Mackie Sleigh Bed with Crocodile Embossed Leather Bedroom Set. Two dressers and two nightstands with a large rug. The dark furniture against the carpet and beige walls were astounding.

I entered the master bathroom in awe. It had double sinks and ample space. A large glass shower and a huge soaking tub. It was in black marble with white walls. Simple but effective. All granite counters. Then the closet was bigger then my room in Forks!! It was already filled with clothes. Coordinated one side was Jasper's and one mine. Dress clothes, lounging clothes, night clothes. There were beautiful built in dressers and shelves for shoes and lingerie.

"I can't believe all of this." I muttered still taking in all of the colors and clothes.

"Did I do okay?" A small voice asked.

I turned to see Alice. Her normally bubbly self was now more withdrawn and less hyper.

"I love it Alice. The detail and the organization. It's perfect."

Her face broke into a wide smile and she hugged me, really hugged me. I hugged her in return with as much force.

Her eyes shined with her happiness as she bounded to the door with new energy she smiled, "And you don't even share a bathroom anymore."

I chuckled and paused, but before I could get my question out she frowned.

"He's in the basement. He wanted to be as far away from you as he could."

I frowned as well. I felt bad that he was alienated in his own home because of me. I hoped he would accept me as a sister.

While contemplating everything two arms wrapped around my middle.

"Welcome home Darling. School in the morning… Nervous?"

"Nope. I was human not that long ago. I bet I'll fit in better than you…"

**A/N:**

**Okay there was ½ a lemon, but I promise more in the next chapter. They have to break in their new bed. ;) hehehe. Well if you guys are liking the story. Please review. The more reviews the faster I update. ;)**

**~Lizbeth**


	8. New Beginnings

**A/N I haven't been getting a many reviews for this story. So I'll post this chapter, but if I don't get a better response I'm going to just say this story was a dud. If you like this PLEASE review.**

**Sorry for the delay, my youngest baby (11months) had a seizure due to a high fever of almost 103. I was in the hospital with her. She's okay now… So if it's a few days between updates please don't be mad…**

**Chapter 8: New Beginnings**

I was still marveling over the sheer size and beauty of my new home. The house was technically 4 stories if you count the basement. Jasper and I were on the top level. Along with Alice in her own room across from us. Then Rose and Emmett down the hall. Alice shared a bathroom with them. Then on the floor below us was Carlisle's office, the library, a den, and of course their bedroom.

The main floor had the kitchen, formal dining room, great room, and living room. Then in the basement was Edward's domain. The house was approximately 10,000 square feet. With 8 full grown vampires it was perfect. We had plenty of space to ourselves and enough common grounds for us to have movies nights.

The garage was Jasper's favorite. The garage was 2100 square feet. Which is bigger than Charlie's house in Forks!

I made my way through the great room admiring the craftsmanship. Everything was so pretty it made me feel like a princess. Built in shelves held more movies than any blockbuster. I sank down into a wonderfully plush couch and looked around. I didn't need the couch, but it was comfortable, and I wanted to act as human as possible.

While looking around I noticed something in my vision it looked like a shade. I lifted it slightly and I gasped as I heard Emmett's voice in my head…

_Rose is gonna love this banana hammock_

Once the initial shock wore off I giggled. Banana hammock? Eww. I then began exploring the house and listening to everyone's thoughts. It was incredible. Until I reached the basement door.

_I shouldn't have ever left. You were so… so…stupid. The only person you've ever loved. Jasper just LOVES rubbing it in…_

The anger that sounded in my head made me feel even guiltier. I let the shade drop and the voices ceased. I had a sinking suspicion if I lifted it any higher Edward would be able to hear me as well. And I didn't want that.

I decided there would be a time and a place to tell them about my new found talent. But now wasn't the time. I would use it to my advantage when needed but I wouldn't over do it.

It was now the morning of our first day at high school. We all stood in the living room while Esme handed out our new backpacks complete with everything we would need for high school. No expense was too great for her children.

We stood in a line Rose and Emmett, Edward and Alice, then last but not least Jasper and I.

"Children now that their will be six of you traveling to and from school we decided we're going to have to split you into two different cars." Carlisle began.

"We want this family to work. So please don't overreact… for me." Esme's sweet smile calmed my frazzled nerves as we all nodded.

"Freshmen in one car and sophomores in another."

They weren't serious? Me ride with Alice AND Edward?

I opened my mouth to complain, but shut it again. The look on Esme's face, the hope. I wouldn't be the one to squash it.

When no one said anything she broke into a wide smile and hugged us all.

"Thank you." she whispered in my ear.

I turned to Jasper and kissed him chastely on the lips. "See you at lunch."

I had my mind made up that I wouldn't act any different than I did as a human. I would force myself to consume human food. I would make us fit in, to ensure that we could stay.

I walked out into the garage and waited patiently.

"Are you nervous?" Alice's tentative voice sounded.

I smiled, "No, are you?"

She smiled back, "No, I dare say it's become a bit routine."

We both laughed and I hugged her.

It felt good to just let go of the past and the bad stuff… I had missed my friend.

Edward walked out briskly ignoring us and heading to his silver Volvo. I followed suit and got into the backseat. I wasn't ready to attempt to sit next to him. He was being quiet and moody. I decided to lift my shield, which is what I called it because it made sense. It shielded me when I needed it to.

_Are you okay Edward._

It was Alice's voice. I watched Edward nod curtly.

_No_

I frowned. So these were the silent conversations? He lied even then.

_Are you lying?_

He sighed shaking his head no for a second time.

_I'm great Alice. The love of my entire existence is fucking my brother… Your former husband. I could sing campfire songs._

The sarcasm and bitterness to his voice was interesting. I'd never known Edward to be so colorful. Who knew what he actually thought.

I stifled a laugh at the thought of Edward singing kumbaya around a campfire. Instead I began to look at the attire I had chosen for the first day of high school. I wore a DKNY Sweetheart Sweater It was a grayish brown color and form fitting. It had intricate designs across the top. From my shoulders to just under my bust line. It was in lines of red, white, pink, turquoise then repeated. It had three buttons two that were decorative. With a pair of 7 for all mankind "A" Pocket Boot Cut Jeans, NY Dark. With a pair of Naughty Monkey military style shoes.

I wore light makeup to enhance my already beautiful face and I smiled. Alaska was one place were we wouldn't have to explain our lack of a tan.

_The things I would do to her body. If I could do it over. I would worship her body. It would be long and slow as many times as she would want. God look at her lips and her golden eyes. Fuck that outfit. If Alice wasn't here I may have done something I'd regret._

I looked up to see Edward staring at me through the rear view mirror. Something about how dirty he was being excited me. But I pushed those thoughts out of my head as I gave him a small smile, which to my surprise he returned.

We got to the school and I walked over to Jasper taking his hand and smiling widely at him. I noticed all the people staring as we made our way up to the school. I leaned over and kissed Jasper gently and walked to the office to retrieve my schedule.

"Hi." I heard a breathless voice say.

I turned to see a pretty girl with blond hair and blue eyes. She had a slightly round face but she was by far the prettiest human at the school.

"I'm Ashlee Johnson." the girl introduced.

"I'm Isabella. But I prefer just Bella." I smiled.

"Going to the office?" She asked hopefully.

"Yes, could you show me?" I asked playing with a loose strand of hair.

Her face broke into a wide smile. I walked side by side with the unusually friendly girl.

We walked to the office and I was handed my course schedule,

_Homeroom : (7:30-8)_

_Mr. Gregory_

_Math : (8:10-9:10)_

_Mrs. Brohl_

_History : (9:20-10:20)_

_Mr. Sage_

_Gym : (10:30-11:30)_

_Mr. Masters_

_Lunch : (11:30-12)_

_Science : (12:10-1:10)_

_Ms. Davis_

_Sociology (1:20-2:20)_

_Mr. Gregory_

_English : (2:30-3:30)_

_Mr. Seitz_

I could feel Ashlee reading my schedule and she grinned. "We have every class together!"

"Cool."

We walked in comfortable silence down the hall and I couldn't believe how easy it was. Acting normal.

"So what's up with your family?" She asked.

Her face then looked mortified. I figured we had been the topic of discussion. Getting 6 new students at one time was pretty major.

"Well my mom and dad are Dr. And Mrs. Cullen. They had me young and married. My father as you know is a young surgeon. Well my mom can't have anymore biological children, so they began adopting. First with Edward and Alice. Then Jasper and Rosalie Hale. They're twins. And finally Emmett. I know it's hard with the rumor mill but the only two blood relations are Jasper and Rose. So I fell in love with Jasper. It's hard you know. Being teens knowing we're not related. They were all adopted about 2 years ago…"

Ashlee stayed silent and then smiled, "It's not so weird."

Morning classes flew by and I was surprised Alice or Edward hadn't appeared in any of my classes. I was walking to lunch with Ashlee and her group of friends. There was Brian Scott, Jordan Fischer, John Fulmer, April Saunders, and Steve Daniels.

We got to the end and I smiled at Jasper, who looked completely shell shocked to see me walking and conversing with humans.

"Jazz." I greeted warmly.

"Bella." He smiled tilting his head.

"We've heard a lot about you." Jordan giggled blushing.

I shot her an annoyed look and feigned embarrassment. "Only good things."

I looked at Ashlee and April who were both ogling my boyfriend with hungry eyes. I was slightly annoyed but I brushed it off.

"I'm gonna sit with my family today, but maybe I'll sit with you guys tomorrow." I smiled friendly.

"Alright. See you in Bio." Ashlee smirked.

When they were out of earshot Jasper pulled me away.

"What are you doing?" He growled.

I was surprised to see how angry he was. "I was fitting in."

"It's dangerous for us."

"It's more dangerous to stand out." I argued.

He growled again and gripped my arm tightly. "We'll discuss this at home."

It was the first time he made me feel unequal to him. I was fine around humans. I was upset with his lack of faith and trust in me.

I pulled myself away from him glaring. "Don't you ever talk to me like that. I'm not sitting with you Jasper."

I stormed off and got into the lunch line and bought an apple with a large order of fries. With a milk to drink. I scanned the cafeteria and noted the rest of the family already seated. Edward wasn't looking up and everyone was engrossed in conversation. I spotted my new friends and made a choice.

I walked over and smiled sheepishly, "I think I'll sit with you after all."

"What happened?" Steve asked looking concerned.

He reminded me of Mike Newton the way his eyes followed me. I'd looked into his head and was impressed with the amount of sexual fantasies he was already cooking up about me. He was tall 6 foot 3 and only a freshman! He had dark slightly curly hair and beautiful green eyes.

"Just a little fight with Jasper." I said frowning.

Steve looked over to where my family sat and glared daggers.

That's when I got a brilliant idea. I would flirt with him to make Jasper see just what cost his pig headedness would cause him.

"It's ok." I said in a hushed tone laying my hand on Steve's lap under the table.

I loved the way his heart sped up as he gulped. I gently rubbed and massaged his inner thigh, his breathing became heavy.

I leaned in whispering, knowing full well my family could hear, "If you're ever free we should do something." My voice husky and I gently squeezed his package.

"Ok." He squeaked.

The bell rang and I excused myself to go to biology.

"Hello, you're Isabella." The teacher Ms Davis greeted.

"Just Bella."

"Very well. You'll be sitting over there with your brother Edward."

I bit my lip silently cursing under my breath. Of course couldn't be bio without the ever colorful Edward there.

I sank into my seat silently beside him.

"This is for you." He mumbled handing me a piece of paper.

I looked down at Jasper's neat writing.

_Bella_

_That was totally inappropriate. I'm having such a fit that they're taking me hunting. Good thing we started on a Friday or I'd be screwed. We're all going hunting. Alice, Emm, Rose, Carlisle and Esme. You're not because you've fed most recently. Edward has agreed to watch you. Because you obviously need watching. I'm very disappointed in you Bella. I'll see you Monday._

_Jasper_

I was pissed off. How juvenile was that? I rolled my eyes and looked at Edward. He looked amused and relaxed.

"When are they leaving?" I asked.

"They left after lunch."

I let out a frustrated sigh and lay down with my head on the desk.

The rest of my classes flew by as I pondered what it'd be like to spend an entire weekend with Edward alone. My ex. The one I thought I was in love with.

The drive home was quiet and infuriating. His thoughts were all lustful and it was hard not to be affected by the thoughts he was having. They were very naughty thoughts indeed, he kept picturing me in the shower, when Jasper and I fucked in front of him. But he was picturing himself as the one behind me and inside me.

Jasper's words from the note kept replaying in my head. What was it with the Cullen's? Treating me like a child. I did not need watching, because I managed on my own until Jasper came into my life. I had excellent control. Just because I decided to innocently flirt with someone other than Jasper? That was stupid, I wasn't completely bound to him. We weren't married. We were together, yes, it wasn't like I actually planned on meeting and being with the human child.

My fists were clenched and I was absolutely furious.

"You should relax." Edward said as we pulled up to the house.

"It's a bit hard to relax when everyone is treating me like a child. Because I am NOT a child."

"You've a grown woman. I agree with you. The only reason I stayed was because he really was throwing a fit."

The twinkle in Edward's eyes made me smile. He looked like he was up to something. I lifted my shield slightly.

_I should seduce her into sleeping with, as a way to get back at Jasper. If she lets me have a little I might be able to control myself more. It could work._

I smirked. But then I thought about it, it would serve Jasper right. Maybe I should sleep with Edward. It would certainly squelch my curiosity about him. And taking his virginity…

I pushed my shield off completely and looked him dead in the eyes.

_You don't have to seduce me Edward._

His eyes widened as he looked at me. His expression mortified and curious.

_What are you doing?_

_The same thing as you Edward. I just learned I could do it. I can shut the voices off and make my mind unreadable. But if I chose to I can lift this shield slightly and hear what anyone is thinking. And if I lift it completely you can hear me._

"Bella." He said his voice strained.

I could tell he was warring with himself. Who would win? The self destructing Edward? Or the horny teenage boy Edward?

I decided to leave him there thinking about what I said and into the house. I stood there a moment and Edward was in front of me. His eyes were pitch black with desire, want, and need.

"Basement." He growled.

The commanding tone to his voice instantly made my panties wet. We flew down the steps and stood in front of his bed. Our eyes roaming over one another's clothed forms. Then his lips were pressed urgently to mine. My hands fisted in his hair pulling him closer. Tasting the sweetest taste I've ever tasted. I wanted more. We took turns undressing one another. When I pulled his boxers down my eyes widened when his rock hard penis stood straight up. It was beautiful.

Without thinking my little pink tongue darted out of my mouth licking the pre-cum from his tip. I closed my eyes reveling in the taste of him. I dipped my head back down engulfing his large member.

"Oh Bella…Bella… My Bella." He chanted his new mantra.

I sucked him greedily, taking him deep in my throat looking up to his eyes watching him moan and writhe in pleasure.

I began humming and pumping my hot mouth at a steady rhythm. I felt the tightening in his balls as he released his tasty seed into my mouth. I sucked him making sure I had gotten every drop.

I looked up to him, my eyes heavily lidded. I needed him.

"Please. I need you Edward."

He smiled my crooked smile and he pushed me onto the bed.

"You're so beautiful Bella, my Bella." he breathed.

Our lips touched and he began kissing behind my ear, his lips traveling gently over my abdomen then back up kissing my pert pink nipples. Sucking them gently. I was panting beneath him. The feel of his lips was driving me wild.

"Please Edward." I begged.

"I want this to be memorable." He sighed, his eyes smoldering.

He kissed down my inner thighs, he looked up smiling mischievously. I gasped when I felt his lips press against my core.

"Edward?" I panted.

His tongue lapped at my juices swirling around my clit. My body felt like it was on fire. He kept bringing me close and then slowing down. He inserted two of his talented fingers curling them just right and I saw stars.

"Edward." I screamed out.

He crawled up beside me letting me come down from my incredible high.

"You're very tasty Bella."

I smiled biting my lip, had I been human I was sure I would be crimson.

He lowered himself over me and between my legs. I felt his hard cock gently sliding up and down across my wet slit.

Our eyes met and he hesitated.

"Bella…"

"Please Edward, I need you."

My words urged him and he complied, he slid in easily stretching me. I gasped at how thick he was.

His eyes were closed as he stayed still inside me. He began to pump in and out slowly. Our lips touching and our tongues caressing. He found a slow and steady rhythm and I could feel my second orgasm building. It was slow and passionate as our bodies combined.

We reached our peak together crying out one another's names.

We lie on the bed wrapped in each others arms and I began to contemplate the consequences of our actions.

"What are we going to do?" I asked staring at the ceiling.

"Nothing. I won't say anything. Neither will you."

**AN**

**Please no flames. This IS a Japer x Bella story, but this is critical for the story and the outcome. So please no flames. :D Sorry it took sooo long. I've had a lot going on with my babies being sick!!!! Now PLEASE REVIEW!!! **


	9. Let me Fall

**A/N I'm so overwhelmed. Thanks to all of you for reviewing! :D It made my day! No, flames either. Thank you again! :D This chapter is dedicated to all of you, my readers and reviewers!**

**PS I still don't own, but I sooo wish I did.**

**Chapter 9: Let me Fall (set to the song Let me Fall by Alexz Johnson)**

I lay in bed beside Edward consumed with grief and guilt over what transpired between us. Here I was supposed to be proving Jasper wrong. I wasn't a whore, or a slut. I was his girl… But why did I sleep with his brother? His brother who was my incredibly sexy and talented ex? I'd never known sex to be so caring, Jasper and I had always just fucked. It was rough and primal. With Edward, it was soft and gentle. He worshipped my body. I felt human. I didn't feel like an object. I felt desired. But it was uncomfortable him calling me his Bella. I wasn't his anymore. Was I? What did I do?

"He's going to know Edward." I said. My voice was shaky, betraying my complete and total fear.

I felt his lips press to my temple, "He won't Bella. He won't. All he'll know is that we've made up."

I bit my bottom lip and shifted my body so our eyes were boring into each others. "Do you forgive me Edward? I love him. I can't help that."

"I know love, and yes, I forgive you… I'm having a hard time forgiving him. But I forgive you. Do you forgive me?"

His words startled me and I thought back. All the times I had wanted to push his boundaries. When he left. Everything that had happened.

"Yes, I forgive you."

He smiled, my crooked smile, and I knew he was dazzling me. "Thank you."

He whispered it over and over again kissing me.

I pulled back from his kisses, "I'm going to take a shower."

He nodded. I think he understood I needed some alone time to think. I entered mine and Jasper's room and started the shower. I stepped under the hot spray and began crying. As the tears fell from my eyes I stopped. I touched my eyes and sure enough moisture, not from the shower. I was crying, and I never felt more human.

I felt completely helpless. I was chained to the Cullen's in so many ways. I couldn't run. I couldn't scream. Not without causing problems. I wanted to be me. The real me. The confused and shy Bella. The clumsy and fragile human. I wanted time to go back. I wanted Charlie alive. I wanted Alice to be happy and my bubbly best friend. I wanted Jasper to be content and distant. I wanted Edward. And it scared me.

I wanted to push it in Jasper's face. I wanted to hurt him. He was supposed to be my rock. He wasn't supposed to lose faith in me. He was supposed to be supportive… I needed to rise up and be me. I needed to put my foot down. I was so confused.

With vampire speed I moved all of my belongings up into the attic. The attic was dreary and slightly drafty. I needed to evaluate how I felt. I was so jumbled inside. I didn't need to lead the boys on. I needed to figure out who I was before I could pledge my love to either man.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked.

His voice was soft and concerned.

I turned to him the tears zig zagging down my face.

"Bella?" he questioned.

"I don't know Edward… I… after we… I can't lie next to him… I can't… I don't want to hurt him… I don't want to hurt you. I'm so confused. I need to know who I am. Before I can belong to anyone."

The words tumbled out of my mouth in a mixture of sadness and fear.

He surveyed the completely empty room. "Well then give me tonight at I'll make this a real room for you. Why don't you go bag your first polar bear."

I smiled gratefully at him, happy it wasn't weird.

I let myself over to the hunt as was gone a couple of hours when I returned Edward was in front of the house smiling. I walked up to him and gave him my best 'what have you been up to look.'

"Good hunting?" He asked.

"ehh, I can see why everyone leaves to hunt."

He laughed heartily and walked into the house.

"It's finished." He smiled my crooked smile.

Like a gentleman he waited as I made my way up to the attic. I was astonished, it was completely transformed.

The walls were done in white and burgundy filled with a complete a Modern Wenge Platform Bedroom set.

The furniture was all rich mahogany which blended nicely with the walls. The purple comforter was beautiful, like the one Charlie had gotten me. There were a few pictures on the wall. I smiled as I noticed the green foliage that was surely Forks. Then there were pictures I hadn't known were ever taken.

Edward and I at school, staring lovingly into one another's eyes. Jasper and I intertwined in a lovers embrace. I was completely overwhelmed. The salty tears again began falling from my eyes.

"It's beautiful." I whispered. I walked around the room and felt completely at ease.

"I'm no Alice." Edward said from the shadows.

I turned to face him my face streaked with tears, "It's perfect."

I held my arms out for him and he enveloped me into his embrace. I breathed in his sweet fragrance and felt home. The confusion bubbled inside me again and I gently pushed him back. I couldn't, not again. Not until I knew for sure.

The rest of the weekend passed with Edward and I just talking. He apologized over and over again for leaving. I could feel the love wafting off of him and it made me feel terrible.

It was midnight on Monday and I heard the cars arriving. I held my unneeded breath and sat in the center of my new bed. Holding my old deteriorating copy of Wuthering Heights. I rose from the bed and looked out the window. I could see them all laughing. Everyone looked happy and at ease.

_What have I done? I'm going to end up breaking the family apart._

'_You will not Bella.'_

I closed my shield completely drowning out Edward's thoughts. Whatever happens, I brought it upon myself. So I would have to live with whatever happened.

Earlier I had left a long note for Jasper. I wasn't sure what would happen. Over the course of the weekend Edward had also built me my own bathroom. I sat in the room filled with trepidation and fear.

JPOV

We were finally home and I was elated, I'd felt like an ass the whole time we were gone. I shouldn't have ever underestimated Bella. She was never normal as a human, why should she act like a normal Vampire. Having spent the weekend conversing with my family I knew I was wrong. She was making us look normal. She was making us more human. She was ensuring our safety so we could continue to live here for a long time to come.

I stepped out of the car laughing at a stupid joke Emmett had told. When I was hit with a mixture of emotions. Smugness, Love, jealousy, Trepidation and Fear.

It was confusing. I entered the house and Edward was seated in the living room smiling like the cat that caught the canary. I gave him a questioning gaze and once his eyes met mine I felt guilt. The smugness gone the guilt was overwhelming. I began to panic.

I raced to mine and Bella's room to discover it was gone of all traces of her. I looked around my cold heart shattering into thousands of jagged shards. When I noticed the notebook paper on the bed.

_Jasper,_

_I'm so very sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean… _

_I don't… I owe you an explanation. I was so _

_upset Jasper. I've never once questioned your _

_control around humans. Even though it's easy _

_to see you have more trouble than I do. I've _

_never been anything but supportive of you. I love _

_you. I do love you. But I'm afraid you're going to _

_hate me now. I could easily just ignore what I'm _

_about to tell you. But I need to be honest with you. _

_You left and you didn't even say goodbye so… I slept _

_with Edward. It was spontaneous. It was for revenge… _

_But I felt something. It was something more. He was… _

_it was loving and tender. It wasn't rushed like our _

_sessions. And now I feel so immensely confused. I love _

_you. I know that. You know that. But I think I still love him _

_too. Despite everything. I think I'm still in love with him _

_too. And I can't do that. I can't be with you, when I might _

_sometimes be thinking of him. And I can't be with him _

_because of you. So for now I'm going to be staying in _

_the attic. I'm not going to be with either of you. I don't _

_know who I am anymore Jasper. I feel like a stranger _

_to myself. Until I figure out who I am, I can't be with _

_anyone. I'm so sorry. I do love you. Please don't hate me. _

_Please. _

_Bella_

Something inside me snapped. The monster in me wanted to rush to the attic another part wanted to go back downstairs and kill my brother.

"Jasper?"

Her voice was quiet and soothing in a way.

"What?" I asked growling deep from within my chest.

"I'm s..s..sorry." She whimpered.

I turned to her filled with rage and stopped. I was confused, the tears streaming down her beautiful face halted me.

I was at her side gently wiping the tears gathering her into my arms kissing her softly. She sighed as our lips touched, but she didn't stop me. I tried to kiss her deeply but she pulled back. That's when I could smell it. His scent was all over her.

"I'm sorry.. I can't."

I watched her run from the room, fleeing from me. From the person she was meant to be with.

I walked down the stairs the pain I was projecting got the attention of my family. Alice walked over looking completely confused as I broke down dry sobbing. I crumpled to the floor in front of my brother and looked deeply into his eyes. I projected the pain, rejection, anger, all the things I was feeling. His eyes filled with pain and again I felt his guilt.

_Why? Why Edward? _

"I don't know."

_You couldn't handle the thought that we were happy. You were so selfish. I hate you for this._

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"What's going on?" Emmett's booming voice asked. He sounded amused and I rounded on him.

"Woah, chill out bro."

I collapsed again sobbing. I couldn't stop the feeling of my chest cracking.

"Jazz… What is it?" Alice asked.

"Ask… Him…" I managed to get out.

_Spotlights on you now little brother._

"I made love to Bella… She's confused. She doesn't know who she wants. So she made a room in the attic." He said slowly without emotion.

I watched the angry glares of my family flash at him.

"What were you thinking?" Carlisle demanded.

"I wasn't." Edward responded.

He was uncomfortable and made his way to the basement.

I however felt my family surrounding me.

BPOV

I sat in the attic and I could hear everyone consoling Jasper while I sat here and listened to them berate and banish Edward to his basement. I was filled with more respect for Edward. It was his thoughts, but I'm the one who acted on it. I'm the one who said it was okay, that he didn't need to seduce me. I wanted him.

I climbed onto the roof and jumped to the ground landing softly. I made my way to the back of the house and climbed through the open basement window. I walked as quietly as I could and could see Edward laying in his bed. He was dry sobbing. I lifted my shield so I could hear him.

_I ruined everything. Jasper's happiness. The whole family hates me. I should just leave. I'll leave tonight. I need to just be away._

I felt my heart break, he was leaving me… Again. He couldn't do that to me. I felt compelled to be with him. I needed to be close to him…

I threw my shield off.

_You're leaving me again?_

He turned over on the bed his tormented eyes met mine.

_Don't you want me to?_

_No, I don't want you to… Unless you take me with you._

_Bella. Are you choosing me?_

_I don't know Edward. But I think that we should explore this. Explore where it leads us. If in the end it's you. Then promise to never leave me again. But if I decide that I love Jasper more. Let me return to him._

His answer was him flinging himself into my arms. He kissed me passionately and I let my lips part granting his tongue entrance. I was filled with lust and desire, but I knew we couldn't. Not yet. I was making another choice. But I didn't know how it would end.

_Not here Edward. Lets just go._

_Should we leave a note?_

_Yes._

I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote hastily and from a string hung it from the ceiling. Anyone coming down the stairs would see it.

_I can't be the cause of the rift and animosity in the family._

_I know we're supposed to be here for a long time. But I _

_Need time. I need some space. Edward feels the same _

_Way. I came to check on him and he had already decided to_

_Leave. It really hurt. The thought of him leaving me again. So_

_I'm going with him. It was my idea. I need this. I need to know_

_If he's meant for me. If he's not I'll return and beg you all_

_For forgiveness. I never meant to hurt anyone. It's just some_

_Thing I must do. We'll be in touch._

_Love you all_

_Bella and Edward_

We climbed out of the window and into the night. It was nearly three in the morning and pitch black out.

"Where are we going?"

"Well we're going to stay in a hotel for a few days to let our scents disappear then we're heading to California. It'll be a place they won't look. We'll be living deep underground in the Lake Shasta Caverns. In my wild years I built a large house underground connecting to the caverns. It's risky terrain for humans. They won't be able to get to it. But we will. It's already furnished. We'll just need to go shopping for clothes."

I smiled as we ran we ran for miles we stopped when we reached the first place with a subway. We took the subway and exited and ran until we reached a lake. Then we slowly and carefully back tracked. We got onto the same sub and traveled to a hotel. We chose the Fairmount in Calgary, Canada. He booked us the Elizabeth II suite. It was beautiful. With vaulted ceilings. It had two bedrooms. One with two twin beds. One with a king sized bed.

I sank into the comfy couch and looked at Edward. He wore my favorite crooked smile.

"What are we doing?" He asked.

"I don't know."

"I mean. Us."

He looked so young to me then. Edward being shy. I searched his eyes and I could see the desire. I had to admit to myself that I wanted him. All the running the thrill was a huge turn on.

I stood up and removed all of my clothing. I walked past him into the room with the King sized bed and climbed on. I lay there spread eagle looking at him.

"Edward." I called. My voice raspy and filled with desire.

He was in front of me then. Already stripped out of his clothes. He climbed on the bed and our lips touched. A frenzy took over me. I needed him. I pushed him onto his back and engulfed his hard cock into my moist and ready mouth. I sucked him greedily loving the taste of him in my mouth.

"Bella." He grunted his head falling back into the pillows his eyes closed.

I climbed above him and dropped onto him. He filled my pussy so completely. He sat up keeping us joined. His lips at the hallow of my throat kissing and licking. As I rotated my hips up and down. Grinding myself to him. His arms around my waist holding me to him. He began to thrust upwards.

"Oh Edward… Fuck me."

He growled flipping us. He was now on top, thrusting fast and hard. The bed creaked loudly as he filled me. He would pull most of the way out and slam back into my tight hole.

"Oh my Bella. You're so wet."

"MM Edward."

Our moans and pants filled the room. He was hitting that special place deep inside me and I could feel everything begin to feel very hot as I exploded. The most intense orgasm of my life. I felt him twitch and then fill me with his seed.

We were both panting as he rolled us so I was on top again. He was still inside me. It felt good being joined together with him. I only wished I could figure everything out. I needed to know for sure…

My mind reeling from the incredible sex, and concern, wondering when my family would discover us missing…

**AN**

**Okay I know more E x B but it's essential for the story line. So be patient and just trust me to bring the story to where it needs to be. Again. Please please review!!! They inspire me! :D**

**~Lizbeth**


	10. Wake Up

A/N Alright woohoo a double chapter feature for all of you! I know some of you are less than pleased with my Bella. But PLEASE have faith in me and this story. I promise it'll work out.

Chapter 10: Wake up

**It had been a week since Edward and I had parted ways with the Cullen's. Everyday that went by I yearned for Jasper. I missed him so much, and it added to the confusion I already felt. Why had I left in the first place? What was going on in that vampire brain of mine. **

"**What's the matter love?" Edward asked pulling me from my trance.**

"**Just thinking." I sighed, giving him a false smile.**

**He pulled me closer to his side as we walked through the darkened park. That's when I seen her. She was breathtaking.**

**The tall and lean blonde stood mere feet from us. Her hair fell in golden ringlets and I was reminded of Shirley Temple. Her rounded face and large butterscotch eyes met ours. Her plump lips formed a gentle smile. Her long dark lashes batted a few times and she looked confused.**

"**You've kept me waiting a long time Edward Masen."**

**At the sound of his birth name Edward took in her appearance and recognition lit his eyes. He stepped towards this phantom woman leaving my side.**

"**I'm sorry love, do I know you?"**

**She giggled and her girlish voice portrayed she was a very bubbly vampire.**

"**No, not yet. Only what I've seen in visions."**

"**You have visions?"**

**She giggled again, "Of course. All vampires could have visions if they wish. You have to tap into part of your human subconscious to do it. It comes easy to some."**

**Her smile was blinding and she was looking so lovingly at Edward. Who was flashing his crooked smile, the smile meant only for me.**

"**You've had visions of me?"**

"**Of us. You have no, idea how long I've been looking for you."**

**He stepped towards her his eyes lit up with curiosity. She reached for his hand and I could see the look in their eyes. The spark. They had the spark.**

"**What's your name?"**

"**Tabitha, but you can call me Tibby."**

"**Tibby you're so beautiful."**

**I watched as they moved slowly towards one another and they kissed. **

**She pulled back smiling, "I'm glad I've finally found you Edward Masen. Will you take me to meet the Cullen's? Alice and I will be great friends."**

"**After I've had some time with you alone."**

**She giggled and I watched as they walked away leaving me there. I felt hurt and betrayed. I knew at the point Edward wasn't destined to be my soul mate. I had made the wrong choice. All I could do was hope my family would accept me back after being so selfish.**

**I made my way home to Valdez. I walked up to the house feeling like a complete tool. I entered the house and it was heavy with sadness. **

"**Hello?" I called out meekly.**

"**You bitch." Alice snarled. **

**I was then tackled to the ground as Alice ripped at my face and my limbs. Emmett entered the room and pulled Alice off of me. I looked at him to say thank you but his normally happy to see me face wasn't there. His eyes wouldn't meet mine. He had a hard line drawn where his smile should be. I looked around the room questioningly.**

**Esme was weeping into Carlisle's shoulder. Emmett was holding Alice who was still trying to get at me. Rose was looking at me with a mixture of loathing and pity.**

"**Where's Jasper?" I asked, looking for his lean form.**

**My question caused Esme's sobs to increase.**

"**He's gone." Rose answered me through gritted teeth.**

"**Gone?" I repeated. I didn't understand. **

**Carlisle led Esme to Rose's waiting arms and he approached me. His shoulders back and he stood between me and the rest of the family. His eyes on me I could tell he was angry.**

"**You had no, right. We took you in. We loved you as a daughter. What made you do that to Jasper? You have no business here any longer."**

"**Carlisle…"**

"**I want you OUT of my house."**

"**But I should be wherever Jasper is."**

"**He's DEAD. DEAD. He went to the Volturi. He asked them to kill him. So they did. Get OUT. You are NO LONGER welcome here. OUT." Carlisle screamed.**

"**NOOOO JASPER."**

**I sat up wondering why I was sitting I began searching the room only to see Edward.**

"**What are you doing here?" I asked him as I felt the tears slide down my face.**

"**I brought you home from school… Wait are you actually crying?"**

**I looked at him in complete confusion and bewilderment. School? What was he playing at.**

"**Jasper's gone… and it's all my fault." I cried.**

**Edward placed a comforting hand on my back, "He'll be back on Monday."**

"**Monday?"**

**Now I was sure Edward was off his rocker.**

"**He's just mad you were flirting with that stupid boy. He'll come around. But the more pressing matter here is that you were crying… And you fell asleep in the car. I should call Carlisle."**

"**Asleep?"**

"**Yes, Bella." He said patiently searching my face.**

**I broke into relieved sobs. "It was all just a dream!" **

**I lifted my shield experimentally and listened to Edward's thoughts.**

_**This is highly unusual. I'm sure Carlisle will want to talk to her. But I guess it can wait until they get back… But she's so fragile. Maybe I could seduce her. I could do things to her body that would make her head spin.**_

**Suddenly everything made sense. I'd had a vision. Not a normal one like Alice. But one in a state of sleep. It was a path that if I hadn't had the vision I would have taken. I would have ended up completely and utterly alone.**

"**You don't want to seduce me Edward. It'll ruin things for all of us."**

**He had begun pacing and stopped abruptly and turned to face me. Shock etched into his handsome features.**

"**What?"**

"**I can hear your thoughts. I'm a shield Edward. I can push it up to hear thoughts. Or lift it completely so you can hear mine."**

**His mouth hung open in shock. "How long have you known?"**

"**Not long, but long enough. I'm pretty sure I had a vision Edward. Because your thoughts are just like what happened. Let me show you."**

**He nodded and I pushed my shield all the way off. The memory of the complete vision in my mind. I saw Edward's expression and demeanor as he watched us making love. As he watched me chose him. When he found his true mate. Then finally when we learned of Jasper's fate.**

**He looked at me and looked so pained, "Bella."**

"**Save yourself for her."**

"**She was beautiful…"**

**I left Edward standing there and walked up to mine and Jasper's room. I was so relieved to be home. I decided that I would plan something extra special for when he returned. I wanted to make love to him. I wanted to take things slower. I wanted to feel that connection I thought I had with Edward. It was time for me to completely let Edward go and move on. It was time for Jasper and I to really become united.**

**I walked down to the basement surprised to see Edward packing.**

"**You're leaving?" I asked.**

**The pain in my voice made his hurried movements stop.**

"**I have to find her Bella. I have too."**

"**I know."**

"**I'll bring her here. There won't be a reason for me to try to hide it. Thank you. Thank you Bella."**

**He pulled me into a loving embrace but there was no fire. It was merely friendship.**

"**Do you forgive me Edward?" I asked him. Echoing the words from my vision.**

"**Yes, I know now that I do have a soul mate. That you and Jasper were destined. I have no hard feelings. I'll always love you… Do you forgive me?"**

**I smiled, "of course."**

**The weekend went by painfully slow. Until Sunday evening around 9. Edward returned with the woman from the vision. I stepped out to greet them.**

"**Hello Tibby, it's nice to actually meet you." I smiled.**

"**Ah, Isabella. We'll be great friends." She smiled hugging me close.**

**That night we stayed up watching sappy love stories and I told her of my plans for Jasper's return. It was great to have someone to talk to who was actually listening.**

**It was midnight and I knew they would be arriving. The bedroom was littered with violet rose petals and a note tell Jasper to go to the bathroom. Where I was soaking in the hot water.**

**I heard the door open and I smiled at Jasper. He grinned apologetically. **

"**I'm sorry Bella."**

"**Shh, just come here."**

**We took a hot and sensual bath. Then he carried me to the bedroom. We lie on the bed our tongues fighting for dominance as we kissed. My hands in his hair holding him to me. I kissed his neck and the sensitive spot behind his ear. Then I traveled down. I licked his cock and moaned at his taste. It was perfect. I took my time slowly pumping him into my mouth as I swirled my tongue around his head. Licking the pre-cum. My hand massaging his balls. I took him deep licking my way back up the shaft and keeping the pressure.**

"**Oh Bella. Fuck you've got a tight little mouth."**

**I moaned with my lips wrapped around his cock. Sending vibrations making him twitch. I worshipped him. Going wild while he pulled my hair and fucked my mouth. I could feel his balls tense and he released in my mouth.**

"**Of BELLA." He screamed.**

**I licked my lips having swallowed every drop and looked at him through hooded eyes of desire.**

"**I need you baby."**

**He pushed me to my back and began to suck on my nipples. Swirling his tongue and biting down. I moaned and writhed on the bed beneath him. Rubbing my legs together in attempts to create some friction.**

**He kissed his way down my stomach dipping his tongue into my belly button. He nibbled on my hip bones causing me to moan louder.**

**Finally he was at my core. His tongue ran up and down the length then plunged inside me.**

"**Oh Jasper. It feels so good. Oh, baby. Don't stop." I panted.**

**His tongue lapping at my juices the circling my sensitive bundle of nerves. Two of his slender fingers entered me and I cried out in ecstasy. **

"**Jasper… Jasper."**

**They curled just right hitting my G-spot while his mouth clamped down on my clit sucking it greedily. I felt my world come undone. I came hard again and again. He lapped up all my juices. I lay there breathing heavily.**

"**How was that Isabella?" He asked huskily.**

"**Oh fuck Jasper." I panted. My eyes still hooded over in desire.**

**He climbed between my waiting legs and sank his hard cock deep inside me. It was incredible. I already was sensitive there. Our love making was loud and passionate. A tangle of limbs. **

**We found a slow and steady rhythm building up until we finally fell over the edge together.**

**I clawed his back as I came screaming his name.**

"**I love you Jasper Whitlock." I mumbled into his neck feeling thoroughly pleased.**

"**I love you as well Isabella."**

**AN: I'm considering ending it here. I haven't decided for sure yet. Perhaps. You guys are lucky. Two updates in one day!!! :D Let me know what you think. :D REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!**


	11. Epilogue

**A/N: Well I'm not sure I can come up with anything more exciting to add to this story. So this will be the end. It's just a small epilogue. Thank you for reading! Again, I do not own**

**Epilogue**

_I'd explained everything to Jasper. I told him about the doubts I'd had. How I had desired Edward. Just to see. I relayed the entire vision in great detail. Including the rapid emotions I went through and experienced. He was very understanding. He poured all the love he had for me through his powers. I felt silly for ever doubting my love for him._

_Since than things have gotten different. We played out four years at the school in Valdez. We all made friends. I still miss Ashlee and her shy and bubbly outlook on life. We kept in touch writing snail mail. Until she passed away at the ripe old age of 93. _

_After school in Valdez, Jasper and I headed off to Harvard. If I was living forever I might as well make good on all the human laws. It kept us fresh and in touch. College was a blast. Just Jasper and I. We married in our sophomore year. A big wedding at night by the lake. Carlisle was there to give me away. _

_As for the rest of the Cullen's? The Volturi had been getting upset about the size of our family so we decided it would be best to separate for a while. Edward and Tibby went to South America. Rose and Emmett decided they would go to Greece. Alice moved on alone and eventually met up with a young newborn named Carlos. They're currently living in Ohio. Carlisle and Esme have been vacationing for the better part of 50 years on Isle Esme. No one working. Just the two of them. _

_We plan to meet up again in the future. Perhaps start over in Forks. The place it all began… Maybe… One day…_

**AN**

**I left an opening if I decide to do a sequel set 80 years or so into the future. I haven't decided yet, it's up in the air. I am however beginning a new story, unlike anything I've ever written. So please feel free to check it out once it's up. "Temptation" Team Jasper. ;D**


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